Have a goal and be able to go towards it. Without getting distracted. A grand idea. So: Set a point. Radiant, promising happiness. What can the way towards it look like? First, draw a line, a single stroke, from A to B – from the bottom of the picture towards the point, which by now has a ray shape and color shades like a dahlia. Oops? A straight line only? So very short and simple? A classic image in our culture is more like a triangle: wide at the bottom and then tapering to a point. “We clear the way and it’s always straight ahead.” Focus, focus, focus. I don’t like that idea. It feels so constricting. Therefore the vertical line gets wider – the same width everywhere. But I need curbs – otherwise I might get lost to the right or left. I set them in a shiny silver. Arrived at the height of the “destination” they turn and become a silver lining on the horizon.
Yes, hope is good – I can use it. More and more of it. All of a sudden, the arms and wings emerge. The goal ceases to be a goal. It comes alive and turns into a friendly being. It wants to smile at me – it needs eyes. It becomes too much for me and I distract myself. The lower corners are still empty – maybe I can safely add some earth there. Dabbing? Tried it once – but it doesn’t fit. In which direction does the earth move? How does earth move when it divides to the left and right? No idea – I have to try it out. My inner eye shows me wings sweeping over sands. I put the brush aside. With both arms I try the movement: Spreading wings – wings unfolding. Try to remember the birds in the garden as I watch them unfurl. Repeat until a sense of directions emerges. I want to get it right – no mistakes allowed. So I have to dilute white and repeat the movements on the paper. I need many attempts. It is very exhausting.
After many attempts, I let myself off the hook: I allow myself to create this image in several moves. I don’t have to finish it in one go now. I am allowed to be economical with my resources. Now, as I write the text, a second solution occurs to me: try one direction concretely and allow myself to try the other direction the next day. For now, I’ll hold on to the half-finished version and let it go. And maybe I can even just leave it half-finished like that. I’ll see.
I think in our society, “goals” are communicated incorrectly. Or I misunderstood them. Goal definition is seen as the epitome of productivity. Something is set in stone and worked towards. Something about this approach is fundamentally misconceived. No wonder there are so many people with complaints of all kinds. It’s a very subtle way of avoiding it all – at least temporarily.
After the first stand, the picture was allowed to dry until the evening. Suddenly it was easy to paint the wings. And to discover a whole new perspective: There is no “goal”, but only an authentic will. This has the property to accompany and protect the path to its own development with gentle wings.
