Blank page, new day. I still carry the tension of the last pictures inside me. Okay. Being be allowed. Today without brush, only with the fingers. Pink, yellow and again – in circles. This time dabbed on with the fingers. The dabs are not allowed to meet at the beginning, otherwise the colors mix. At some point I become more courageous and look for specific transitions. The dabbing becomes richer and I allow some mixing. An inner soundtrack creeps in: Johnny Cash hums his decided “I won’t back down” to himself, and I’m amazed that I recall the entire song in my head. “Hey, hey, there ain’t no easy way out – hey, hey, but I won’t back down. In a world that keeps on pushing me around, but I won’t back down.”*
The beautiful flip side of this struggle is the unconditional will to stay true to oneself. Maybe I am allowed to honor that today. I already have an inkling that I want to spread the colors over a large area today. But first, the sheet wants to be completely covered. Step back. Finish a mug of tea. Pour the white paint from the bottle directly into my left palm. Spread the paint like cream liberally over both palms. Let’s go. Like a pinwheel, the colors expand in all directions and yet at the same time point back to the center. Moving and staying in a center at the same time. Still some tackling at the center, but not too long. Satisfaction. And lo and behold, today was easy.
*Note: Two days ago I watched the movie “Dark Waters” which is about the Du Pont affair. -> Wikipedia Important, Moving. And during the entire ending this song is played – an extreme perfect fitting.
